Meet our Boss Mom of the Week – Lynyetta Willis
We want you to meet Lynyetta Willis
If you don’t know her you should. She was selected for our first revival of the Boss Mom of the Week (coming back after a two-year hiatus) because she has a wonderfully infectious smile and energy that the world needs right now.
Her story is powerful and important and she teaches that our trauma and triggers can move us in positive ways if we allow them. Her message is one about connecting better and loving more while not giving up ourselves and what we love.
Lynyetta helps us to see the challenges we faced in our lives with grace, rather than shame, but also shows us how we can move past those challenges to create the kind of relationships we want to have in a conscious and loving way.
She is a beautiful light in this world and we want to lift her up and share her with you.
A bit about Lynyetta’s Boss Mom journey:
Across generations in my family, the Four Horsemen mindset of pain, blame, shame, and avoidance were used to keep kids in line. “Bad” feelings were invalidated, and a child’s needs were okay as long as they didn’t clash with the needs of the adults in the room. I’m not about reverse shaming my family. I was raised by powerful and deeply admirable women and men who stood by me. They did the best they could with what they knew based on what they experienced growing up. Over many years and through many experiences, I formed a lot of unhealthy beliefs about myself. I even entered into an abusive college relationship that further supported and perpetuated those beliefs. But I’ve come to understand that some of the beliefs I I formed through those experiences weren’t always aligned with my deepest truths.
As I entered adulthood, I began to see signs that I needed to get in touch with that truth, in order to create the kind of life I wanted for myself and for my future family. So I set out on a journey to heal what needed healing, and in the process, I did what many therapists do when they don’t know how to heal a certain aspect of their life—I specialized in it! I became an expert in healing trauma, couples and family issues, spiritually-centered therapy, and mindful living. Everything I needed! Or so I thought (spoiler alert: surprise, surprise – didn’t quite heal everything). As I gave up on trying to intellectualize my way into transformation, I slowly began what I call my “Inner Revolution.” I started to question and shift how I was showing up in the world, in my relationships, and all the messages I believed about myself.
I became pregnant and everything changed. The news that I was pregnant washed over me with mixed emotions. What began as indescribable excitement slowly transformed into a feeling of dread. I heard the words of Richard Rohr echoing in my mind: “If you do not transform your pain, you will transmit it.” By that point, I’d helped countless clients in my practice heal their transmitted pain and I knew this statement was true.
I wanted a deeper connection with my husband. I wanted to raise my kids differently from how I was raised; I didn’t want to expose them to the wounds I’d collected as a young adult; and I wanted to show them how to be present, aware, authentic, self-loving, and healthy.
The pace of my Inner Revolution picked up when I began working with a woman who did deep soul work; through our work, I finally began to experience deep growth and transformation. I learned that the answers were within me. I embraced and shined healing light upon the “bad” parts of myself that I’d locked away.
I finally began to release the untruthful messages I’d learned early in my life. I was able to show up as the parent, partner, and person I wanted to be: worthy, important, powerful, and good.
Now, I Help People do Relationships Differently. I’m a fellow-seeker, spiritually-centered family empowerment coach, and psychologist. I love engaging people where they are on their path, exploring how they show up, and helping them make soul-aligned decisions so they can transform stable misery into dynamic joy.
I love helping parents and partnerships break free from stable misery so they can create harmony in their homes. Part of this path is learning that we all have the ability and power to do relationships differently by shifting our mindset, becoming mindfully aware of our experiences, connecting to our deepest, soul-filled truths and visions, and taking intentional actions.
I’m still not perfect (though as a recovering perfectionist it took me a long time to stop trying…it’s still a process 🙂 ). I still feel triggered by my kids, my husband, and others close to me. I still have days where I feel less than my best. But awareness has become one of my superpowers. I’ve become aware of how present I’m being in relationships.
I’ve become aware of how unhelpful patterns from my past get in the way of the qualities that make all relationships thrive: connection, compassion, and authenticity. I’ve even realized that in order to honor my deepest truths and most authentic Self, some relationships need to shift dramatically or end entirely.
My relationships help me to form a vision of how I want to show up. They also provide me with daily practices to move towards a larger vision of a happy, connected, resilient self and family.
One piece of advice from Lynetta for moms who are starting a business…
Don’t allow your business to become your mistress. When things aren’t going the way we want in our relationship with our partner or our kids, it’s easy to ignore the difficulties and get our needs met through our business. We may easily fall in love with the control and sense of competence our business creates; as well as the cravings for success that it can satisfy. Enjoy all the goodness that your business brings, but don’t allow it to be a replacement for your family. Embrace and transform your family difficulties AND your business that way you can create and experience joy from them both.
Lynyetta wants to live in a world where… we embrace relationships as a spiritual practice; where we view every interaction (even the difficult ones… especially the difficult ones) as a sacred pathway to deeper self-understanding and personal evolution.
And she wants you to know that… You are W.E.L.L. – Whole.Enough.Love.Learning – never failing. Life is much easier when we get curious and live it like an experiment. You don’t fail experiments, you only learn from them.
She believes that the one thing you can’t live without is laughter.
Lynyetta is doing something wonderful and we want you to know about it
She is about to launch a new live group course for parents who want to calm and overcome their triggers so they’re not controlled by them. She has done a lot of 1-on-1 work and in-person groups over the past 20 years as a psychologist. She is SO excited about the opportunity to share all that she has learned to help parents feel more confident, strengthen their connection with their kids, and break cycles and build legacies they’re excited and proud to pass onto their kids. We are excited too because we think she’s awesome.
Join her Parenting Course: From Triggered to Transformed 6-week Parenting Program:
By the end of this course, you’ll be able to 1. Confidently engage or eliminate power struggles, meltdowns, and other challenging behaviors; 2. Control difficult parenting triggers that get in your way; and 3. Strengthen your relationship with your kids so you can feel less guilt and enjoy parenting more. Check it out at: www.transformtriggers.com
Or join her Harmony in the Home 3-month program for parents and couples that want to stop reacting, repeating unhelpful patterns, and living in stable misery so they can start connecting and creating more joy in their most sacred relationships. Find out more at: https://www.drlwillis.com/harmonyhome1/
Make sure you grab her free resource
FREE Roadmap: Releasing Stable Misery Roadmap — Strategies to start your journey towards the joyful marriage and motherhood you desire. GET IT HERE
Make sure you get her children’s book My Forgotten Self
Make sure you connect with Lynyetta
Check out her website: https://www.drlwillis.com/