There’s a trend I’ve been noticing more and more lately—people are talking about their choice not to have kids, and honestly, they’re being pretty vocal about it. I recently saw a post where someone was celebrating being child-free, going on about how much freedom they have to chase their dreams and live their life however they want. And you know what? That’s cool. If you don’t want kids, more power to you. Being a parent is hard work, and if you don’t feel like it’s your path, then by all means, don’t go down it. I’m all about doing what’s best for you. To say having goals a mom isn’t possible, though? I am not on board.
Here’s where it gets tricky—this idea that having kids means giving up on your dreams? Yeah, that doesn’t sit right with me. I get it, sometimes it feels like that. But let’s be real—that’s not the whole story. It stings a little to hear someone who’s never had kids imply that I’ve just given up on everything I wanted for myself. Like, no, you don’t get to tell me that. Only other moms, the ones who truly understand, can say those things. We can joke about it, vent about it, but if you’re not in it, keep those thoughts to yourself.
I’ll be straight with you—there’s a grain of truth in it. Yes, having kids makes it harder to just do whatever you want, whenever you want. It’s a massive commitment. When you love your kids as much as you do, their struggles, emotions, and experiences become yours. But, hey, that’s true of any relationship that really matters in your life. When your partner or your best friend is going through something, you feel it too, right? With kids, it’s just turned up a notch (or ten). It means you can’t always drop everything and chase your goals on a whim.
But here’s the kicker—it doesn’t mean your dreams are dead. It just means the timeline changes. So what if it takes you a little longer to get there? Who cares if the journey is slower?
Remember that old story about The Tortoise and the Hare? Who won the race? The tortoise! We tell our kids that slow and steady wins the race, but somehow we’ve bought into this hustle culture that says if we’re not hitting it big and fast, we’re failing. Whether it’s about becoming a millionaire in 30 days or going viral overnight, we forget the value of taking things slow.
In my version of the story, the tortoise wasn’t just slow and steady—oh no. The tortoise was also distracted, just like many of us moms. Maybe the tortoise had to stop to help another little tortoise put on shoes (which took 30 minutes because they didn’t like the first pair). That’s parenting—we’re constantly being pulled in different directions. And guess what? That’s okay. Slow and steady still wins the race, even if it takes longer.
And you can still stay focused on the right things. We show you how to do that as a mom with our BossMom Daily Focus Board.
Let’s not sugarcoat it—having kids means you don’t always get to do what you want. It means your goals might take longer to achieve. But in return, you get something so much greater—the joy, love, and pride that comes with watching your kids grow. Sure, there are moments where you’re doing things you’d rather not, but the trade-off is the deep, fulfilling connection you’re building with your children.
So, to those who choose not to have kids—go you! Do what feels right for you. And for those of us balancing motherhood and ambition? We can still reach our goals. It just takes time.
If you’re a mom with big dreams, here’s what I want you to hear: it’s okay to move at your own pace. It’s okay if your goals take a little longer to achieve. The key is to keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone tell you that having goals as a mother means you’re giving up on your dreams. That’s simply not true. Your path looks different, and that’s perfectly fine. You will get there.
If you’re feeling like you need more support in juggling motherhood and chasing your goals, I’ve got something for you. Boss Mom Plus is our new social networking platform, designed to make life easier for moms like us. It’s a space where you can connect with other women who understand what you’re going through, find support, and get the encouragement you need to keep moving forward—without the guilt.
So, if you’re ready to join a community of moms who get it, check out Boss Mom Plus. Let’s build a village where we can dream big and be amazing moms at the same time.
