Life as a mom is anything but straightforward. It’s a journey full of challenges, messiness, and moments that have us laughing, crying, and sometimes both at the same time. Today, Krista and I are diving into the concept of being a “single married mom.” Yep, you read that right! It’s that feeling of navigating family life and career solo, even if you technically have a partner. If you’ve ever felt like this, you’re not alone, and we’re here to unpack what it means and how we can support each other through it.
Motherhood is messy and layered. We’re raising kids, managing households, and for many of us, building or maintaining a business. Every ad out there claims it’s “easy” to balance it all with a simple hack or tool. But here’s the truth: it’s never just one thing. As moms, we’re handling more than anyone can truly quantify. Our lives blend career, parenting, relationships, and so much more. And often, that blend can feel like a solo mission—especially when it comes to running the home and nurturing our kids.
In our chat, we joked about being “hot messes” in the best way possible. The idea of the “single married mom” perfectly describes the solo effort many of us put into family life, even when we’re married. And most of the time, it’s not something malicious from either partner. It’s a reality where, despite having a partner, the bulk of the mental load and logistics often fall on one person. Sometimes it’s because of the reality of raising a family, sometimes it’s incompatibility, or maybe it’s the personal growth that comes from constant access to personal development resources. Basically, it’s complicated.
The work we do every day as mothers is complex, which is why having systems can be a game-changer. Whether it’s meal planning, organizing schedules, or carving out time for self-care, systems can lighten the load. For example, I use a simple meal planning system that I adapted with a little help from ChatGPT. This has been a lifesaver for keeping up with my teenagers’ bottomless appetites and reducing my stress around mealtimes.
But beyond logistics, systems allow us to focus on what matters most. With routines in place, we can make space for quality moments and nurture our relationships. And while systems won’t fix everything, they can make life a bit more manageable and, dare I say, enjoyable.
We don’t want lives that feel robotic, stuck in endless routines and to-do lists, but we do need some structure to keep everything manageable. Systems aren’t about removing spontaneity or connection; they’re about creating a smoother foundation so that we can actually have more loving, genuine moments with our family and partners. By organizing the essential logistics, we can free up more time and mental space for what truly matters—being present, building memories, and fostering closeness.
When we take care of the repetitive tasks with a structured approach, it reduces our stress and lets us relax into the unplanned, heartfelt moments that make family life meaningful. Instead of feeling consumed by the endless logistics, we can put our energy into connecting and having fun. So, while systems won’t magically eliminate all the chaos, they allow us to handle life’s challenges with a bit more ease, making space for what we really crave—more joy, love, and connection in our days.
A hot topic we discussed was this idea of “paying moms” for their role in the home. We’ve all heard it: if you hired someone to do all the work a stay-at-home mom does, it would cost over $100k a year. That’s a powerful way to recognize the immense value we bring. But does this mean our partners should literally pay us a salary? Not necessarily, because it doesn’t solve the root issues.
In most healthy relationships, it’s not about keeping score. If we were in a job interview when we got together, it wasn’t for the role of “full-time chef and nanny.” We willingly chose to be partners and parents. While it’s empowering to recognize our worth, relationships thrive on appreciation and respect, not transactional exchanges. The real “pay” we need isn’t a salary—it’s feeling valued, seen, and connected with our partners.
It’s less about wanting compensation for our work and more about wanting to feel valued, appreciated, and recognized for all that we bring to our families.
The reality is, we didn’t choose to be in these relationships to act as employees or service providers. We entered into partnerships to share life, to support one another, and to build a home where both partners feel seen and connected. When we feel overwhelmed or underappreciated, the answer isn’t a paycheck. Instead, it’s knowing we’re part of a team—that we’re not carrying the load alone and that our contributions are meaningful, not just monetarily valuable.
What we’re really seeking is to feel like we have a true partner who understands and acknowledges the daily and emotional labor that goes into raising a family. Being validated in this way goes far beyond any salary, bringing us the sense of connection and respect that makes us feel like we’re in this together. It’s this connection and mutual recognition that makes the tough parts of motherhood easier to bear and the joyful moments even sweeter.
The essence of partnership is collaboration, not keeping score. Many of us have learned that our partner isn’t necessarily the one we talk to first when we’re feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes we need to connect with other women who understand exactly where we’re coming from before bringing those conversations to our partners.
In Boss Mom Plus, we have a community of like-minded women who get it. It’s a space to share, vent, and find support from other women who are navigating similar challenges. When we talk openly with other moms, we gain insights that help us approach our relationships with less resentment and more compassion. Sometimes, having that external support means we’re better prepared to communicate our needs with our partners from a place of clarity, not frustration.
Every relationship has its unique balance. Some of us crave physical touch, while others need words of affirmation, acts of service, or quality time. Understanding what makes us feel loved is essential. In previous relationships, I found myself yearning for simple gestures that made me feel valued. In my current partnership, we’ve learned to communicate openly about our love languages, which has deepened our connection. And sometimes, your languages are just too different to work. That’s okay.
As moms, we often pour everything into our families. Knowing our love language, and sharing it with our partner, allows us to create a dynamic where both parties feel appreciated and fulfilled. In those seasons when motherhood feels especially overwhelming, having that foundation of support can make all the difference.
Navigating motherhood and entrepreneurship can feel isolating, which is why having a supportive community is so crucial. At Boss Mom Plus, we have a space dedicated to real-life challenges like marriage, parenting, and balancing our personal goals. There, you can connect with other women who are dealing with similar situations, helping you gain perspective and advice on what’s working for them.
It’s a place where you can find solutions, vent, and ask questions without judgment. Whether you’re dealing with a challenging season in your marriage or just need advice on how to manage time between business and family, Boss Mom Plus is here to support you.
The role of a “single married mom” isn’t easy, and it comes with a mix of emotions, from frustration to empowerment. But remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Leaning into support systems, connecting with other moms, and creating routines that bring you balance can make this journey a little smoother.
If you’re looking for a place to share your experiences and learn from others, Boss Mom Plus is your community. Together, we can embrace the chaos, build connections, and navigate motherhood with resilience and humor.
