How to Stop Self-Sabotaging

Have you ever felt like you’re standing in your own way when it comes to reaching your goals? Maybe you’ve got big dreams for your business, but something always seems to stop you. That something might just be you. Yep, we’re talking about self-sabotage today. In this post, we’ll dive deep into how to stop self-sabotaging and start making progress toward the success you want and deserve.

So, grab a cup of coffee, get comfy, and let’s figure out how to get out of your own way!

 

What Is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is when we unconsciously (or sometimes consciously) create obstacles that prevent us from achieving our goals. Whether it’s procrastination, perfectionism, or avoiding difficult tasks, self-sabotage keeps us from moving forward. The worst part? We often don’t even realize we’re doing it!

In today’s world, we face so many challenges, from juggling work and family to dealing with daily stressors. But more often than not, the biggest obstacle we face is ourselves. And guess what? That’s okay. In fact, everyone deals with self-sabotage at some point, even the most successful entrepreneurs.

 

Why Do We Get in Our Own Way?

Here’s the big question: Why do we get in our own way? The truth is, we all have limiting beliefs, fears, and doubts that pop up and make us feel stuck. Whether it’s the fear of failure, fear of success, or even just feeling overwhelmed by all the things we have to do, these beliefs can stop us in our tracks.

For example, you might have a dream of launching a new course or starting a business, but something keeps holding you back. Maybe you think, “I’m not ready,” or “I need more experience.” Sound familiar? These thoughts are classic examples of self-sabotage.

But don’t worry! Acknowledging that you might be getting in your own way is the first step to making a change.

 

The Three Key Questions to Ask Yourself

If you feel like self-sabotage is keeping you from reaching your goals, there are three key questions you should ask yourself to get to the root of the problem.

 

1. Are You Buying Courses and Tools but Not Implementing Them?

Be honest—are you constantly buying new courses, tools, or programs hoping that they’ll magically fix everything, but then never actually use them? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us look for external solutions to our problems, thinking that if we just buy the right course or invest in the latest tool, everything will fall into place.

The truth is, it’s not about how much you buy—it’s about what you do with the information you already have. Often, the problem isn’t that you need more tools or knowledge; it’s that you haven’t figured out how to implement what you already know. It’s a classic self-sabotaging move.

So, instead of buying more, take a step back and assess what you already have. Do you have a course you haven’t finished? A tool you haven’t fully explored? Focus on using what you’ve got before moving on to the next shiny object.

 

2. What Do You Know, and What Decisions Are You Struggling to Make?

The second key question is: What do you already know, and what decisions are you having trouble making?

You might be surprised to realize how much you already know. Take a moment to list out all the skills and knowledge you’ve accumulated over the years. Maybe you’ve learned how to create a course, run social media, or design graphics. But despite all this knowledge, you still feel stuck.

Why? It’s often because you’re unsure how to make decisions with the information you have. For example, you might know how to create a course, but you’re not sure whether to offer a membership or a one-time program. Or maybe you have all the tools you need to market your business but can’t decide which social media platform to focus on.

When you find yourself in decision paralysis, that’s a form of self-sabotage. It’s not that you don’t know what to do—it’s that you’re afraid of making the wrong choice. Recognizing this fear is the first step to moving forward.

 

3. What Do You Believe About Your Finances, Environment, and Emotions?

Finally, let’s talk about your beliefs. What do you believe about your finances, your environment, and your emotions? These beliefs often dictate why we sabotage ourselves.

• Finances: Do you believe that asking for money is wrong? Or maybe you think making money is selfish? These beliefs can prevent you from charging what you’re worth or selling your products with confidence.
• Environment: What do you believe about your environment? Maybe you think you don’t have enough time to focus on your business or that your space isn’t conducive to getting work done. These beliefs can create invisible barriers that keep you from being productive.
• Emotions: How do you feel about your energy levels or your ability to handle stress? Do you feel overwhelmed or anxious when thinking about putting yourself out there? Emotional blocks are a major form of self-sabotage and can stop you from taking action.

How to Stop Self-Sabotaging and Move Forward

Now that you’ve asked yourself these key questions, how do you stop self-sabotaging and start moving forward? Here are some actionable steps to help you break the cycle:

1. Get Clear on What’s Holding You Back

Take time to reflect on your answers to the questions above. What patterns do you notice? Are there specific beliefs or fears that keep coming up? Once you identify what’s holding you back, it becomes easier to address.

2. Take Small, Consistent Steps

Self-sabotage often happens when we feel overwhelmed by the big picture. Instead of focusing on everything you need to do, start with small, manageable tasks. Consistency is key. The more progress you make, the more confident you’ll feel.

3. Embrace Discomfort

Here’s the truth: success requires stepping outside your comfort zone. You might feel scared, anxious, or even paralyzed by fear at times, but that’s normal! The goal isn’t to eliminate discomfort—it’s to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. That’s how growth happens.

4. Seek Support

You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s joining a group like the Nurture to Convert Society or finding an accountability partner, having support can make all the difference. When you surround yourself with people who understand what you’re going through, you’ll feel more empowered to push through your self-sabotaging habits.

 

Be Kind to Yourself

At the end of the day, remember this: we all get in our own way sometimes. It’s part of being human! The key is recognizing when it’s happening and choosing to take steps to stop it. By asking yourself the right questions and taking intentional action, you can start to break free from self-sabotage and build the life and business you’ve always wanted.

If you’re ready to go deeper and get the support you deserve, check out BossMom+. It’s designed to help you fine-tune your messaging, grow your audience, and break through whatever’s holding you back. Imagine having the clarity, confidence, and community to show up fully, knowing you’re supported by women who get it and are right there cheering you on.

And if you’re feeling stuck, reach out. We’ve all been there, and I’m rooting for you every step of the way. I heart your face, and I can’t wait to see all you’ll create!