Boss Mom of the Week: Judy Tsuei
Judy Tsuei is a writer, author, holistic coach, and new mama who founded Meditations for Mamas to shift women’s mindsets from body loathing to body love in order to transform the dialogue our children will have about their own bodies and self-worth. Connect with your modern day mama soul tribe at Meditations For Mamas.
Where do you go for inspiration?
I love to be inspired by other women, especially mamas who are entrepreneurs, and as a writer, I also love hearing people’s stories. That’s why I started interviewing so mamas for my YouTube channel. It gives me a chance to hear their backgrounds and how they got to where they are now, which is incredibly inspiring, as well as to hear their honest experiences in mamahood, so we can know we’re less alone in what we’re feeling.I’m lucky that I’ve had such a diverse career (Arts & Entertainment Editor in Shanghai and Editorial Director for a live conscious music and events company that put me in contact with everyone from Tara Brach to Kathryn Budig, travel writer, marketing strategist, yoga teacher, Reiki Master, holistic coach, and more) so this has enabled me to meet such amazing people I’ve kept in contact with and can now reach out to again to highlight how they’re sharing their light in the world.
Nature was my first deep spiritual connection to a sense of something greater existing in the world and perpetually inspires me. In fact, that’s where Wilder’s name originates, given how much my husband and I love the great outdoors. Being on the road has given us a huge opportunity to see beautiful sights, as well as connect with people we normally would not have met. We try to get outside as much as possible
And, I LOVE podcasts. (More on that in the next question.)
What are you currently reading or listening to (podcasts, books, blogs etc)?
Podcasts are my jam. As a mama of a very active almost two year-old, I don’t much have the luxury to sit down and read, so listening to audiobooks and podcasts are a way that my brain can still be fulfilled, while I’m running errands or cleaning the house.
Right now, I’m hooked on Sophia Amoroso’s #GirlBoss radio. Each week, she interviews another woman who’s accomplished noteworthy success in business. Sophia herself started one of the most profitable online retailers in the country, has been written up by Forbes as one of the top 50 self-made women, and in a recent article I read, has more money than Beyonce. (What!) Her authenticity throughout her interviews is admirable.
Modern Love from the New York Times is the best heart-warming (and sometimes wrenching) listen. I’m a memoirist and personal essayist, so being able to hear these stories is inspiring, especially in the ways it demonstrates so many honest elements of humanity. Plus, they’re so well-produced, with celebrities reading the pieces they choose, and an interview with the writer at the end of each episode to see where they are now.
As far as books, I’ve been listening to Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich and Sean D’Souza’s The Brain Audit; Why Customers Buy (And Why They Don’t) because I’m very much focused on business at the moment. Recently, I finished Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood, Lena Dunham’s Not That Kind of Girl, and The Big Leap by Gary Hendricks.
What is one piece of business advice that you’d give to a mom just starting out?
Go for it! Seriously, go for it! Part of what I realized I’d been struggling with is becoming a mama later in life (I conceived at 36), which meant I had ample time to develop my identity and really love my life the way I created it. I think because of that, it was harder for me to adjust to this new role of being at home with my daughter all the time as the primary care provider, even though this is what I wanted and what my husband and I had talked about. Before that, I was super gung-ho about taking any press trip around the world at a moment’s notice, or having the freedom to pursue my creative endeavors. By pursuing your passions, you’re maintaining a thread from your past life into your current one, and that can help when your identity suddenly feels completely lost.
Simultaneously, I’d very much caution moms starting out to be gentle with themselves. Channel that unconditional love you have for your child into yourself and your work, as well. I had a business coach recently tell me that creating a business is like giving birth and you have to nurture it, the way you would your own offspring. There’ll be frustrating moments, times of celebration, and simply the daily showing up-ness of it, so be as compassionate with yourself as you can be, because that will help with the longevity of your endeavor.
Also? Find your tribe. Your personal tribe of women who understand what you’re going through, and your professional one, who can help champion your dreams when doubt starts to settle in. The guidance from your tribes is invaluable and coaching is a great way to get this support if it works for you.
What are some of your favorite quotes or words to live by?
“Everything will be all right in the end. If it’s not all right, it’s not the end.” (I believe this quote has appeared in many places, but the place that stuck in my brain is from the movie, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.)
“I beg you, to have patient with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet.
Luck favors the prepared. (I learned this along the way of life.)
“When you’re feeling helpless, help someone.” ~Morley, in the song “Women of Hope”
In one word, sum up your life as a Boss Mom.
What are three core values of your business and how do those values relate to your motherhood?
Integrity: I want everything I do to be transparent. I’ve always been authentic, raw, and honest in my writing that’s published in the world, but as a mama, this idea of integrity takes on an entirely new level, because I want to raise my daughter understanding how to come from this place, too.
Abundance: There’s more than enough for everyone. For me, my immigrant parents inadvertently raised us with this idea of lack and scarcity. Since becoming an adult, my life has demonstrated the complete opposite. I want my daughter to grow up believing that there is indeed enough for her and for everyone else around her, so that we’re not competing with one another, but rather, encouraging everyone to thrive.
Service: From a very young age, I’ve always wanted to help people. Even when I was enduring incredible hardship within my family of origin, which included abuse, to suffering for so long with bulimia, a part of me knew that there was a greater purpose to this, which would be to help others experiencing similar things to what I had gone through. My business is built on empowering women to feel better about themselves than ever before, in order to provide that light and guidance to their children, who have the potential to bring the evolution of humanity forward. One of my favorite quotes as I mentioned earlier is by Morley, who sang, “When you’re feeling helpless, help someone.” This has helped me through my own dark places and I would love for my daughter to know what a powerful impact she can make by being kind, compassionate, and willing to help.