Boss Mom Spotlight – Dr. Michelle Deering
We want you to meet Dr. Michelle Deering…
Dr. Michelle Deering believes that every mother and daughter should have a thriving loving relationship. This refreshing approach has made her a sought-after speaker, online educator, and consultant.
Before running her consulting business, Michelle served as a licensed clinical and sport psychologist at a BIG 10 University, Fortune 500 corporate trainer, and higher education professional. Nowadays you’ll find her speaking at conferences, training for her next Reebok Spartan Sprint Race, and practicing rudiments on her drum kit — all while coaching, serving clients, and recording her hit podcast, Mother Daughter Connections™.
Share a bit about your Boss Mom journey:
My Boss Mom journey began being the youngest of three daughters born to a Jamaican immigrant woman who became a single mom after fleeing her abusive husband.
While living in survival mode in the South Bronx, my mom’s high expectations and low emotional support drove a wedge in our mother-daughter relationship. I coped by focusing on my academics and athletics.
However, while my achievement in these areas led me to earn my bachelors degree in biology from Brown University and attain my doctoral degree in counseling psychology from Rutgers University, they didn’t overcompensate for the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse I endured from family members during my formative years.
It was those early years that became the backdrop for my life as a married mother of twin daughters. Despite my earnest attempts to “do differently” than my own mom with me, I found myself unintentionally repeating mother-daughter relationship patterns laced in (“mommy”) guilt and fear.
My efforts to overcompensate for the guilt and fear took a severe toll on one of my daughters. It was in that dark time that I had to face myself (& my daughter) more honestly and pause to consider™ the effects of my high expectations on her and make strategic changes. This pivotal moment changed the trajectory of and transformed my relationship — first with myself and then with my daughter.
While working in higher education for nearly a decade as a senior staff psychologist at a BIG TEN university with college students and student-athletes who had eating disorders and performance issues, I started noticing a trend in care that was shifting to be more “prescriptive” in a reactionary way than preventive in a responsive way. I preferred the latter approach.
So, in 2010, I branched out on my own to start my company (Curative Connections) based on my belief that people experience healing – a “cure” – when they make connections first with themselves, then with others, which then enables them to connect and more effectively make progress towards their life goals. I worked in my passion to help my clients take proactive preventive steps to respond to their life transition challenges.
In 2015, my family moved to North Carolina and I found myself living among many moms who had younger children. When I would see them interacting with their children (especially their daughters) in ways that were not uplifting or affirming, my heart hurt. Specifically, my heart hurt not just for their daughters but also for the moms who were unknowingly undermining the very fabric of the mother-daughter closeness they desired to have. That’s when I knew I wanted to help moms on a larger scale.
So, in 2018, I wrote and released my best-selling book, What Mothers Never Tell Their Daughters: 5 Keys To Building Trust, Restoring Connection, & Strengthening Relationships (AAE Publishing, 2018) and in 2020, I launched my hit podcast, Mother Daughter Connections™
My mission is to
- provide a safe space (“no guilt” and “no judgement”) for moms
- help moms pause to consider themselves and their behavior so that they can break generational cycles of hurt, guilt, and pain
- empower moms with tools and strategies to raise the next generation of daughters who, if they choose to be moms, will be raising future daughters and sons.
As a Boss Mom, I conduct instructional experiential groups for moms/daughters and online webinars/courses, speak at conferences and as a guest on a variety of podcasts and radio shows, and contribute as a writer on therapy and parent-related media outlets.
What makes you excited about becoming a Boss Mom of the Week?
I’m actually humbled by the honor of being recognized for doing what I love to do — helping moms and daughters grow and flourish in their relationship with each other. I believe, as women and Boss Moms, we are all daughters first and our relationship with our mom is THE foundation for our future success personally, parentally, and professionally.
My excitement about being Boss Mom of the Week is for the opportunity it provides me to reach more moms, and especially those who are raising daughters, with my message of hope and help for (re)building, restoring, and strengthening their relationship from the inside out using my TLMR® Framework.
One piece of advice for moms who are starting a business
Pause to consider what you are doing in the moment.
Where do you go for inspiration?
While my spirituality and spouse are a major source of inspiration to me, as an athlete and board certified sport psychologist I also find background stories on athletes inspiring.
What are you currently reading or listening to?
Books I’m currently reading:
- “Thou Shall Prosper” by Rabbi Daniel Lapin
- “Boss Mom” by Dana Malstaff
Podcasts I’m currently listening to:
- Boss Mom
- Live Life Rich (Host: Marissa Nehlsen)
- Brand You (Host: Mike Kim)
- Read To Lead (Host: Jeff Brown)
I want to live in a world where…
Moms are not repeating cycles of generational pain but reaping harvests of purpose-filled parenting.
This is what I know to be true…
your mother-daughter relationship is the foundation of your personal, parental, and professional success.
One thing you can’t live without…
What is the big milestone that you are hitting that you are celebrating?
Having started my podcast (Mother Daughter Connections®) in May 2020 and completed a focused series for mompreneurs with Dana Malstaff as my capstone special guest 🙂
Website and social links:
PODCAST: Mother Daughter Connections® (www.CurativeConnections.com/mother-daughter-connections-pod)
BOOK (Ebook): https://bit.ly/wmnttdebook
Mother Daughter Connections Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/motherdaughterconnectionsfb
Want to stop arguing with your daughter?
Go grab Michelle’s Free guide to help you manage frustrating moments with your daughter.